Kim and I have read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman1 and we know many other people who have also read it. I feel like some people treat that book as the fifth gospel, but I've never really connected with it.

I think he makes some good points about people feeling loved through different "languages". I have just never found any one of the "languages" he illustrates that accurately describes what makes me feel loved.

I'm not the most emotionally connected person. So, it's not like I the answer that Chapman was missing. It has always been difficult for me to put a finger on what it is that makes me feel loved. Taking from the book, it's sort of "Acts of Service, it's sort of "Quality Time", and it's sort of "Gifts".

All that said, last night something happened that made me feel more loved than I have in a long time. For those that subscribe to the gospel of Gary, my love tank was filled.

Last night Kim and I made a stop between Chipotle and home. We stopped by the home of another SAS employee to check out a refrigerator they had posted on our electronic bulletin board. The fridge was only about four years old, but white, and their new kitchen was going to include black appliances. It was a nice fridge and a great deal.2

We drove away from the home where we saw the fridge with the expectation that we would talk it over and let them know our final decision today. On the ride home, we went over the pros and cons of buying it. I admitted that one of my selfish reservations was that if we bought the refrigerator, we would not have the money for me to buy a bike.

It was at this point that my wife blew me away. I know she loves me. I never question that, but I don't know if her love has ever been so apparent as when she said, "I don't want us to buy a new refrigerator until you buy a bike." That might not seem so significant, but I know she would really like to have a nicer refrigerator and the fact that she is not just willing to, but wants to set aside her desires for mine makes me feel loved.

So, the profound "a-ha" moment for me is that I think I have discovered my love language. I think my love language is sacrifice. It makes a lot of sense in relation to how Chapman describes how to figure out what your love language is. He suggests that most people show love in the way that they want to be shown love. I feel like I try to show Kim I love her by setting putting her first a lot the times. It makes sense now that her doing that for me moves me in such a way.

There is something profound in there that points back to my faith. I just don't have to expound on it, right now. Plus, this has gotten pretty long. If you made it this far, thanks for accompanying me on the journey.

In conclusion, my wife is amazing. I am blessed to have her. I love you schnucky-bumpkins, sweetie-pie, post-it note, pumpkin'!3

1. back I was unaware that there was a "Men's Edition". Has anyone read that?


2. back Kim and I have been talking about buying a new fridge since moving into our house about a year and half ago. We've even saved money dedicated to buying a new fridge. So, this was a great opportunity.


3. back Like I said, I'm not very emotionally connected. I can't say all these heartfelt things without making a joke. We'll call that a defense mechanism.

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