Two posts in two days.

Last night, Kim and I were talking about who was going to walk the kids around the neighborhood to collect candy for me to eat. One and three year olds don't need that much candy, but father's of one and three year olds certainly do. One of us will take the kids out and the other one will man the fort and hand out candy to the ghosts, goblins and ghouls.

At first, I was willing to flip a coin to decide. I didn't have an opinion one way or the other. Then, I remembered how last year one of our neighbors gave me a beer when we stopped by. His small gesture opened a door that was closed before. Since, we have moved from the head nod that acknowledges the existence of the other human to actually speaking to one another when we happen to be outside at the same time.

Upon remembering this, I decided that I would stay at home. I've got a plan...

Tonight, I will be sitting in my driveway giving out candy to the kids and beverages to the adults. I've got a cooler full of water, soda and beer leftover from the Dynamic Water golf tournament. I may even make some hot chocolate if winter decides to stick around.

My hope is to talk to as many parents as possible and open some doors in the way that my neighbor Mike did last year. If you want to hang out in my driveway later, let me know.

SIDE NOTE: After I came up with this plan, I happened upon this blog post that validated my idea. He doesn't say give your neighbor a beer, but that's what worked for me last year. So, I am going with it.

Labels: church, halloween

I just responded to a post on a blog that I follow at a distance. I responded to the question: How long have you been married? My response was: 6 years next month. Right above the place where you enter your comment, a lady named Kathy H. had responded with: Married for 42 years!!!

I dream of being married for 42 years and wanting to tell someone, or everyone, with a level of excitement that warrants a trifecta of exclamation marks. I see old people walking holding hands and I think, "That will be us some day." I see us as the grandparents that are left on the dance floor at a wedding after the newlyweds and those that have been married for 10... 20... 30... 40... 50 years have been asked to leave.

I want that life. I want to be that couple.

But, then, there's the reality of it. There's decades... years... months... days to make it through to become that couple. There's a lot of life that comes before then. And, unfortunately, life is not always rainbows and ponies.

Earlier this month I didn't like my wife. I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to be around her.

Obviously, that doesn't sound like a couple headed towards matching Hoverounds.

I was tired. I was overwhelmed. I was angry. I was hurt.

So, being the emotionally mature man that I am, I took the healthy path. I decided not to talk to her and not to be around her. I shut it down. I did what I needed to do to get through the day with as little interaction as possible.

This led to a come to Jesus meeting one night where my wife told me to talk to her. To which I responded, "You don't want to hear what I have to say." Turns out, I was wrong. She didn't curl up in the fetal position and whimper when I told her how I felt. We had a lengthy, difficult at times, conversation that ended with me confident that we would make it to the days when dinner is served at 4PM.

So, here we are a week, or so, later. I'm sitting in front of the computer with headphones on trying to tune out the world because I am putting together a sermon for next Sunday. To procrastinate, I decide to respond to a blog about how long I've been married. While I'm responding, "How He Loves" is playing.

In that moment, I was left with tears welling up in my eyes. The song attempts to describe the indescribable love that God has for us. I was struck by how much God loves me. This drove my thinking to a place where I believe God was telling me something; something I felt so strongly that I felt the need to share it here.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her - Ephesians 5:25

I say I believe that the same God that created the universe loves me. That He loves me so much that He sent his son, Jesus, down from heaven and had Him die to pay the price for my failures. I also claim that the Bible, which is where the quote above comes from, is true and is the word of God. It is through His word that he spoke to me.

Tonight, while listening to a song about how much God loves me, I felt God saying, "I do love you; more than you'll ever know. Now... you love her." Jesus loved the church so much that He gave himself up for it. And, He's calling me to do the same thing for my wife.

I am trying so hard in a lot of areas to become the man that God is calling me to be, that I have overlooked, or at least lost focus on, one major area, i.e. my role as a husband. Men, join me in regaining that focus.

Husbands, love your wife. Help her to become the woman that God created her to be as she helps you become the man God intended you to be. Be kind. Be strong. Be tender. Be open. Be conscientious. Be available. Be present. Lead. Don't leave her behind. Extend grace beyond measure. Love her and do it well.

Kim, thank you for the way you love me.

Labels: bible, grace, marriage